KickaBoxa Glory

Never have I felt more feminine as when I came out of my first kickboxing class last Friday. This, as you can probably imagine, is not the intended result. However, as perhaps anticipated, I kick (and punch, and lunge, and thrust, and jab etc...) like a big girl’s blouse.

Unlike the Zumba-ing Farouzan, whose aim in life is to 'PARRRTY'; proverbial brick house Marco Mastrorocco the kickboxing instructor has a slightly different objective. To destroy... grrrrrrrrrr! Well...not quite, but he does appear to be on a one man mission to turn us London sissies into REAL men. I like to feel that I am his greatest challenge to date.

"Kick me" he demanded as I wafted my shin at his muscular torso; "Punch the bag" he ordered as it limply jiggled on its chain; "Faster faster faster" he chanted as I steadily turned beetroot and wilted to the floor.

...Rocky I ain’t.

However, it was probably one of the most obviously effective fitness classes I’ve ever had. It’s not one to be taken lightly and it’s not easy, but the following days of stiff joints and tight buns are unmistakable evidence of the effect it has on your body.

The workout, devised by Marco at the Epic Gym in Westbourne Studios, can effectively tone most of your tricky flabby parts. Punching and kicking have the obvious effect of strengthening the muscles in your arms and legs, whilst the specific stances and postures which you are taught to adopt work your waist, bum and abs. According to the literature, you can burn up to 500 calories per hour. Lovely.

Furthermore, it’s a fabulous way to relieve stress and tension as you have to imagine yourself beating the bejeezus out of an archenemy (although I’m not sure I would have been a match for a boxing glove-wearing kitten).

If you can get past feeling a bit of a ninny at your inability to grasp anything close to Muhammad Ali’s poise for the first few sessions, this is a fantastic workout. Marco, who is actually not as intimidating as first impression would have you believe, is a very patient and enthusiastic instructor. His professional status as a Thai Kickboxing Champion means that, unlike many kickboxing instructors, Marco has had first-hand experience of putting his high intensity techniques into practise.

Stress relieving, fat burning and muscle building, this is one multi-tasking workout. And anything that can teach me not to be such a wuss is good enough for me. Watch out West Hampstead massive... Lulu’s getting ready to rumble.