Ear Licking on the Strand

DISCLAIMER: Please do not read the following blogpost if you’re offended by the word ‘Wanker.’ The subject is fashion and it just can't be avoided.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” he squealed. “Daaaaaahling!!!” she replied, as they grasped each others’ faces and performed their overzealous ear-licking greeting ritual in the arches of the entrance to Somerset House.

A Right Pain in the Grass

I've found a new & very organic way of exercising. Gardening. Honest to goodness, after my very green, very energetic weekend of battling with the lawn my bum, thigh and arm muscles feel like I've climbed Kilimanjaro. It was, by no means, low effort, high impact (my favourite type of exercise) but it was most certainly effective. I'd recommend it if you are a glutton for punishment.

What you need:

How to Chill when you feel like a Drip

Last week I was feeling fairly run-down because of work overload plus a number of other personal stresses and I started to feel really lethargic and in need of a pick-me-up. For someone who’s on a diet, this is a big danger. When you’re tired and groggy the easiest thing is to turn to the nearest sugar fix, to call for a take-away and to sack-off any attempt at exercise.

Smells Like Summer

I've always had quite masculine taste in fragrances. From my first ever perfume, which was CK One, to my current choice, which is J'adore Dior, I've always preferred the more musky aftershave-like scents and mostly avoided anything floral. Nevertheless, I decided that this year, the appearance of the sunshine and the resurrection of flouncy skirs & bright colours should also lead me to adapt my perfume choice accordingly.

Sex And Our City

So sorry for the absence folks - I've been flitting here & there including to the beautiful Emerald Isle for my goddaughter's communion. Now I'm back in the Big Smoke, however, it's time to start thinking about the important things. Namely, the return to our screens of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.

Being Mrs Muscle

So, as well as having a quasi obsessive interest in my weight I'm also semi OCD about cleanliness in my flat. Fun ey? Just spare a thought for my boyfriend.

When I lived at home, my mum was always a complete tyrant when it came to picking knickers off the floor, organising the dishwasher in a very specific manner and plumping the sofa cushions...even when someone was sitting on them. And whilst I rebelled at the time, now I have my own flat, home doesn't feel like home unless there's a faint whiff of Jif in the air.

New balls please

Last week I was a bit lax with my exercise routine and finished the week with a massive night out during which I drank an entire bottle of wine. The day after it was weigh-in day and, as it was also Election Day (shake head as you note which is first in my order of importance), I headed down to the polling station. My altered state of consciousness (read heavy, horrid hangover) led me to stand for 20 minutes in the wrong borough’s polling station before realising that I live in Camden, and the residents of Brent really didn’t care about my political inclination. Stumbling over to the correct side of the road I mused regrettably about how easily I was swayed to neck that bottle and to stray from my well-thought-out slimming plan.

Election Countdown - Where to Celebrate / Commiserate

A slightly different topic and (SHOCK HORROR) nothing to do with my weight but I can't let the GE go by without even so much of a mention. I wouldn't, however, want to preach politics at you & certainly don't feel well versed enough to deal out voting advice but I have asked my pal Emyr Thomas, who runs London concierge service Bon Vivant, to fill me in on the best places in the capital to watch the results. His ideas sound like much more fun than sitting on my sofa with a cup of hot lemon water and a rich tea.

Not so porky pork

A fave of mine for Sunday lunch is the following recipe for Marinated Pork Tenderloin on a bed of apples. It's really delicious &, obviously, a relatively low fat option. I've worked it out at about 6 WW points plus another 2 for the potatoes

It's the endorph the world as we know it

It has been said again and again that exercise is a fantastic way to cure the blues and, to be fair, for the most part that has been my experience. It's not such a struggle to get myself upright in the morning, I'm more proactive when it comes to menial tasks such as hoovering and polishing, and even more lively with less menial tasks, like my job.

Sushi's All That

J & I had a couple of friends over & I, true to form, wanted to make something low fat - something that wouldn't wreck my dedication to 'the cause'. Luckily for me, J is the King Prawn of sushi making - in my completely unbiased opinion, his Nigiri puts Pret, Boots, Marks' & even Yo to shame. AND it's a relatively low cal option.

KickaBoxa Glory

Never have I felt more feminine as when I came out of my first kickboxing class last Friday. This, as you can probably imagine, is not the intended result. However, as perhaps anticipated, I kick (and punch, and lunge, and thrust, and jab etc...) like a big girl’s blouse.

Et in Virgin Active Ego

Firstly I have to say that, having been a dedicated (albeit largely absent) member of Fitness First for about 5 years, walking into Virgin Active was like stepping into some sort of fitness enthusiast’s Arcadian dream. Situated on the top floor of Oxford Street’s Plaza, my NFP (New Favourite Place), and the home of the Latino craze ‘Zumba’ is bright, clean and contains more changing rooms than you can shake a maraca at.

Bad Taste is having a Field Day...

I was really looking forward to SATC strike 2 until the pictures of the laydees walking through the desert were revealed in last night’s Stylist. Oh Patty Field, what HAVE you done? We have Carrie of Arabia, Miranda and her amazing techni-coloured dreamcoat, Samopatra and IndiCharlotte Jones. Bad times.

Low Fat Thai Chicken

A little suggestion for some low fat munching is the following recipe for Thai Fish Sauce & Lime Chicken which I found on tinternet a while ago and have since adapted to make a quick, easy and delicious meal. If you're following Weight Watchers, this will add up to 5 points (6.5 with the rice) and if you're calorie counting it's approximately 520 calories.

Flower Power for the twenty first century...

One of my biggest problems is that, when it comes to food & booze, I have real issues with saying no. Even when I have the best of intentions, I end up proffering my plate or glass and uttering those immortal words "ooo, go on then, just one more..."

The thought that an holistic remedy might harness and control my will power might be a bit airy fairy for some but, for the sake of my waist-line, I'm willing to give it a shot.

How to be a Polish Peasant

As a Pole, my birth rights are threefold: 1. the ability to sew a hem, 2. the ability to make a plant wither with just the right look and 3. the ability to do a French plait. And as the French plait, in a variety of cutesy peasantry forms, is the style of the season, I thought I'd share with you these pearls of wisdom, so you too can fit in at your nearest Polski Sklep.

She's fit, she's just not 'normal'...

Not to go against the grain but it's really irritating me that the media are forcing this portrayal of the fabulous Christina Hendricks as a ‘real woman’... as someone who promotes the cause for all normal women out there. She IS NOT a 'normal' shape. She has a perfectly proportioned hour glass figure: a great pair of jubblies, teeny tiny waist, shaky shaky hips and a bum you could rest your pint on. If only I was so ‘normal’. I understand that the press are thrilled to be celebrating a frame which doesn’t resemble an emaciated 12 year old boy’s, but to hail Hendricks as the ‘average woman’ is to further feed Josephine Blogs’s feelings of inadequacy. Unfortunately, for me her Boticelli boobies are just as unattainable as Keira Knightley’s ironing board stomach.

... I'm just saying...


(image not my own: http://starsmedia.ign.com/stars/image/article/101/1019546/christina-hendricks-20090828034818272.jpg)

Hello & welcome to my blog...

As the sun graces the UK with its fabulous presence, the pages of the weekly gossip mags become saturated with articles bemoaning the absence of fat on the frames of bikini clad Girls Aloud and the cast of The Hills whilst they simultaneously take the piss out of those who exceed a size 8. This observation obviously isn’t an original one. For years, the media has lambasted larger women and saluted the perfect figure of minute waists, sky-high legs and pert round breasts leaving us ‘normos’ feeling suitably inadequate and predisposed to spending the rest of our lives hidden under burkas.